A bit of an attempt at humour goes here.
Then I will list out some things you will learn from this article.
(if it’s likely you won’t learn anything, I’ll just stay quiet)
If I’m struggling, I will:
[insert mildly controversial take here]
Then I’ll wrap up this section by saying something like “let’s go” or “let’s dive in” because I know this is how I will convince you I am real human writing this because all humans say “let’s go” or “let’s dive in” everyday.
The (Almost) Perfect SEO Blog Post
What is an (Almost) Perfect SEO Blog Post?
I’m glad you asked! (fake enthusiasm)
Here’s a definition that I am only going to add here for SEO.
It’s in a H2 subheading because it’s always in a H2 subheading.
Even if I’ve already given a definition in the intro I will still add this section in here to appease the SEO gods.
Another Subheading (with a keyword variation shoehorned in)
Boom. Here we go. The point of the article.
Here I will put:
- A numbered list of items I’ve researched*
- A loose opinion, strongly held and stretched to breaking point
- A WILDY controversial opinion that isn’t WILD or CONTROVERSIAL.
- A list of things so granular you can practically smell the irrelevance as you read
- A list of things kinda related but also just too many things to be useful
- A list of things kinda related but also not enough things to be useful
*Research = I’ve Google the keyword, copied items from the top 10 ranking articles and regurgitated them all over myself.
Whatever I pick, I’ll put it here.
For each I will explain it based on my knowledge of Googling the thing 37 seconds ago.
I might add an unrelated graph here too.
I’m starting to lose steam now so I might get someone else to do the work for me.
Here’s an expert opinion on The (Almost) Perfect SEO Blog Post (nice, seamlessly got in the keyword again)
Thanks Uncle Ben, you make a really great point.
Unexpected CTA is Unexpected
Woah! No way!
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, I’ll hit you with a section that is basically a sales pitch for my latest course/ebook/webinar/squirrel glove.
Now it’s time to supercharge my post with some common questions.
I’ll answer them using H3 subheadings because of reasons.
A question literally no one has ever asked.
A vaguely related question I’ve pulled directly from People Also Ask.
Another question I’ve pulled from People Also Ask which is just basically a duplication of a previous question.
A pointless question I’ve added because I wrote this in a rush.
Now instead of providing a concise overview of the content, I’ll just rewrite the intro and drop in a CTA (or 12).
If I’m feeling super-deranged, I’ll ask you to reach out with feedback. But if you do reach out with actual feedback, I will resent you for it.
Thanks for reading this essay about how to create The (Almost) Perfect SEO Blog Post.
(nice, just naturally got the keyword in again)